Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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