somebody snuck up and got me drunk
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
