Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
look no pants
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I will pee on everything he values.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I want to fling myself into the sun
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