Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
