Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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