A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize