dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
