if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize