You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
