I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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