Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
