We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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