I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
