So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Randomize
