What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
