D3 body, D1 cock
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize