just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
