I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
