Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
