Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just want nice things and good sex
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize