What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
