GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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