girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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