this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
