I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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