i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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