"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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