Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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