standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
