theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
