saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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