May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
This girl is more easily done than said...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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