we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize