I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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