yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
