Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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