Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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