Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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