This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
