You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
