are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i dont even know how to be here
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
