i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
