so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I fill condoms, not promises.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
