So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
