I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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