so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
