oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
