hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
