God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
the raccoons are back...
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