I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
