I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
