I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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