Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The feeling are messing with the penis
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
