using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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