Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize