Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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