My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
